Aditya chatterjee's Weblog

Yes, I have moved on..

Posted on: March 31, 2010


Can we really forget our first love?? I don’t know people might say that yes, it would be better option. I some times also believed the same. But how I can forget the first love…

We broke up back in 2008, April. I last saw him back in Feb, 2008. After that till today I haven’t seen him don’t know whether I can see him ever or not. Our love story started over phone and also got over phone. Isn’t a very sweet thing? He completely took himself out of my life. No phone call, no mail nothing for almost a very long time. It the same year, 2008. His birthday was on Sep, 18th. I called him to wish him in spite of every thing. He was asleep, didn’t recognize my voice. But I wished him holding my tears back. We never came back to the same form of talking. Some times just calls that also only when needed. ‘Hi’, ‘Hello’ and then the subject, nothing more than that. When we broke up he promised me that he will never see me if I ever try to talk about relationship. So I never talked about our past. It was unspoken. I was trying to move on. Didn’t know whether one year was enough or not.

Back in March, 2009 I met Prakash.  I liked him as well. I fell in love with him. We became committed to each other in a relationship. A new love story started in my life. A fresh beginning.

Every thing was fine but one day some time in 2010 I talked to Prasanth. Didn’t know what happen to me I got emotional. I told him that though I was not allowed to say him that I loved him. But I told him that I still respected him by the same way and I would still count myself as his well wisher. I told him till this date whenever I think about first love he comes in my mind. I didn’t know whether he was shocked or surprised. He told, “Yes, Even when ever I think about love you come in my mind. I told everyone about you. I know there is no point saying sorry for what ever I did to you.”  I was speechless. I was waiting for those words from him for a long time and today he is saying. I told him that it was too late for that sorry.

I told him it was too late but inside I was happy because he missed me. He realized that I loved him, loved a lot. Whenever Prakash and me talked about my previous love life he used to ask me, “Would you accept him if he comes back”. I always used to reply ‘NO’ with a great ease but why I am feeling for it? Why? What is past, what no more exists or should not exist? Why? Why I am thinking?

At last I Closed my eyes to realize things around me….

I saw myself back in 2008. I was searching for new job with my broken heart. Nothing was going fine. Every thing was just messed up. I also behaved like walking and talking Zombie. Prasanth Stopped talking to me. He even shut me out of his life. Never received my call. I went to CMC .Thought of moving on but still was unable. All the songs that I used to listen brought back my tears…2008 passed…started 209 and it started with new hope..2009 March. Got new life… 2010…things are fine. Then all of sudden saw Prasanth as if he is asking me to come back in his life.

I saw Prakash too. When I needed some one Prakash came and stood by me. He gave me his love. Made me close to his family. Whatever Prasanth was unable to give me everything Prakash gave. I might sound selfish but I am not comparing them. Now I can’t leave him. I can’t let the same thing happened with Prakash what I faced. I can’t become Prasanth. I am who I am with all my emotions alive.

I opened my eyes. Realized that the phone is ringing. Took the phone in my hand. Saw Prakash and my self. My realization came into life. I never thought that moving on would be that tough but at least now am sure that I am ready to move on and rather I have already moved on. It was just a rush of my emotions. That was my past and I am going to make peace with my past.

I love you…. Will love you forever……

Aditya, what you think, haven’t I done the justice with my past. I know you would understand. Thanks for listening…

Your Friend.

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1 Response to "Yes, I have moved on.."

Nice work Aditya Chatterjee,,,,,

Best Regards
Aditya Chatterjee

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