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Can we really forget our first love?? I don’t know people might say that yes, it would be better option. I some times also believed the same. But how I can forget the first love…

We broke up back in 2008, April. I last saw him back in Feb, 2008. After that till today I haven’t seen him don’t know whether I can see him ever or not. Our love story started over phone and also got over phone. Isn’t a very sweet thing? He completely took himself out of my life. No phone call, no mail nothing for almost a very long time. It the same year, 2008. His birthday was on Sep, 18th. I called him to wish him in spite of every thing. He was asleep, didn’t recognize my voice. But I wished him holding my tears back. We never came back to the same form of talking. Some times just calls that also only when needed. ‘Hi’, ‘Hello’ and then the subject, nothing more than that. When we broke up he promised me that he will never see me if I ever try to talk about relationship. So I never talked about our past. It was unspoken. I was trying to move on. Didn’t know whether one year was enough or not.

Back in March, 2009 I met Prakash.  I liked him as well. I fell in love with him. We became committed to each other in a relationship. A new love story started in my life. A fresh beginning.

Every thing was fine but one day some time in 2010 I talked to Prasanth. Didn’t know what happen to me I got emotional. I told him that though I was not allowed to say him that I loved him. But I told him that I still respected him by the same way and I would still count myself as his well wisher. I told him till this date whenever I think about first love he comes in my mind. I didn’t know whether he was shocked or surprised. He told, “Yes, Even when ever I think about love you come in my mind. I told everyone about you. I know there is no point saying sorry for what ever I did to you.”  I was speechless. I was waiting for those words from him for a long time and today he is saying. I told him that it was too late for that sorry.

I told him it was too late but inside I was happy because he missed me. He realized that I loved him, loved a lot. Whenever Prakash and me talked about my previous love life he used to ask me, “Would you accept him if he comes back”. I always used to reply ‘NO’ with a great ease but why I am feeling for it? Why? What is past, what no more exists or should not exist? Why? Why I am thinking?

At last I Closed my eyes to realize things around me….

I saw myself back in 2008. I was searching for new job with my broken heart. Nothing was going fine. Every thing was just messed up. I also behaved like walking and talking Zombie. Prasanth Stopped talking to me. He even shut me out of his life. Never received my call. I went to CMC .Thought of moving on but still was unable. All the songs that I used to listen brought back my tears…2008 passed…started 209 and it started with new hope..2009 March. Got new life… 2010…things are fine. Then all of sudden saw Prasanth as if he is asking me to come back in his life.

I saw Prakash too. When I needed some one Prakash came and stood by me. He gave me his love. Made me close to his family. Whatever Prasanth was unable to give me everything Prakash gave. I might sound selfish but I am not comparing them. Now I can’t leave him. I can’t let the same thing happened with Prakash what I faced. I can’t become Prasanth. I am who I am with all my emotions alive.

I opened my eyes. Realized that the phone is ringing. Took the phone in my hand. Saw Prakash and my self. My realization came into life. I never thought that moving on would be that tough but at least now am sure that I am ready to move on and rather I have already moved on. It was just a rush of my emotions. That was my past and I am going to make peace with my past.

I love you…. Will love you forever……

Aditya, what you think, haven’t I done the justice with my past. I know you would understand. Thanks for listening…

Your Friend.

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Some love stories never end. People may get separated but some where down the heart love may remain the same way.

But all the love stories are not same. Some where people just forced themselves to believe that the story is over.

The same thing happened for them also. It was some where between April. Akash and Prasanth were fine. Both trying together to shift together. But One day some thing happened. Prasanth told to Akash that he would not be able to stay with Prasanth after the adoption. Akash was stuck. He asked the reason. Prasanth told the reason is not other than the Indian society. Akash tried to have a discussion but Prasanth was not eager to play with a kid’s life.

For Prasanth kid was the first choice and for Akash Prasanth became the first choice. Akash never wanted to loose Prasanth. Prasanth was also helpless. Adopting a kid was his aim in life and being a man of substance he never wanted to change the aim of his own life.

After three days discussions Akash agreed with Prasanth. Akash agreed to stay in the same building but may be not in the same apartment. But it was too late for him. Prasanth saw a crack some where in between the relation.

The same day night Prasanth told Akash that things were not working and he wanted to stop that right now.

It was a stormy night for Akash. The next day morning came with emptiness. Some thing was not there. Some thing was missing. That some thing was none other than Prasanth. His fortune gave him a new on the same day.  Akash won his professional battle and lost his love.

Prasanth even stopped talking to Akash. Akash was into pieces.  They thanked GOD for creating some relationship like ‘friendship’. Prasanth told one of Akash’s friend about all of this. The friend was helpless too. Took no other sides. Just came and stood beside Akash.

Akash became lonely again. Such is life. To make other’s happy they both let their happiness go. They had to for the society for the kid for each other.

The story ended in the month of April. They never saw each other. They called each other but that was kind of formality. Slowly the formality also went off some where.

Till today they remember each other by some songs, some special moments spent with each other. They are none for each other now.

Akash was in his home town celebrating the New Year with his parents and Prasanth was there in his city with his friends. On that New Year they again promised themselves to stay together.

The year was 2008 and let me call this part as” Lagging Behind”

After the New Year celebration both of them came back to their own cities. They were busy in their work.

Prasanth had a dream to adopt a kid. Akash was quite happy about it. Things were going on it’s own way. Akash was getting busy in his work and Prasanth was also getting the same amount of busy at his work.

It was mid Feb when Prasanth went for another counseling to adopt the kid. But unfortunately according to the Indian rule Prasanth had to be 30Years to adopt a kid. So Prasanth was again disappointed. As I told it was Prasanth’s dream to adopt the kid. Akash was supportive but some where in his mind he was afraid to loose Prasanth. Akash wanted the kid also but he was thinking about some more time. Yeah, Prasanth said that next year that means in 2009 Prasanth would get the chance to adopt the kid.

Akash was happy all over but a bit scared. Akash wanted to stay with Prasanth at any cost. There’s nothing more than this Akash ever wanted. Another big incident happened in Prasanth’s life. All of a sudden he got depressed with all the adoption matter. More over one of his close friend was also leaving India. So all the things together made him sadder. And he had to visit the same psychiatrist again. This time for counseling of depression. Prasanth had to be under tough medication for some two or three weeks. All along Akash wanted to visit Prasanth , but Prasanth was rejected Akash’s plan to visit him. At last being such kind of desperate Akash went to Prasanth’s home. After three months Akash met Prasanth when Prasanth was in that condition. Akash decided not be weak in front of Prasanth. He hid all his tears. Prasanth didn’t see any tears in Akash’s eyes. But Akash wanted Prasanth to see his heart where he was crying a lot…Poor Prasanth, he also thought of hugging Akash and also wanted to share his own thought But Prasanth also didn’t speak his mind. So many words were there unspoken. Some where they were lagging behind

It was the month of March and that’s the last time Akash saw Prasanth. Till today Akash haven’t seen him again.

Let me call this part as,” The Distance”

Have you ever heard anyone saying that,” Distance relationship never works!!!” I heard that well, guess what at this part Akash and Prasanth felt the distance but that doesn’t mean that they left the relation there for the distance. Rather they tried to over come the distance. Yes, At this point of time I can feel that both of them really tried to over ocome the distance. May be they did it…

As I told you that this month of Dec was there only for distance. Akash was in his city busy with his work but again missing Prasanth in his heart and Prasanth. Prasanth was also too busy at his work. Both were trying to change the job. Prasanth was searching the job in his Own City where as Akash was searching the job in Prasanth’s city.

It was almost a few weeks that both had seen each other. But as I told you Prasanth was also quite strong about his word. He told Akash,” As long as I am not getting any job I’ll try not to meet you. I know it’ll be tough for me. And I even know that I will go to your city to see you. So at least for seeing you I have to get a job as soon as possible”.

Akash was partly happy about his boyfriend and party scared about the distance. As I told you He was also trying for job in Prasanth’s city. So Akash also tried to get some interview. But unfortunately he was not getting any interview and Prasanth was not getting a proper chance to change his job.

Both were missing each other. But they tried to over come the distance. Both of them had a teddy bear. Those two were also a pair and they named it according to their loves name. Akash used to call his bear as “Prasanth”. More over they thanked GOD for all those.”G talk”, mobile system and all those stuffs… They tried to make their mind.

But at last Akash was unable to hold his emotion. He insisted to visit Prasanth’s place at the end of the dec. As ‘Akash’ insisted so Prasanth didn’t say anything him about it. After almost a whole month Akash and Prasanth were together. It was a great pleasure for both of them.

Akash was there for a week end and at the end of the week end Prasanth was also suppose to visit his home town which was near by Akash’s city. So Prasanth and Akash started together. Though it was not the first time but it was nice journey. Prasanth told some very practical stuff to ‘Akash’. A very rude practical stuff…

,”Hy. How serious you are about your job? See I know that may be you are serious about your job but that seriousness is not enough. What will happen if in future this Prasanth is not there in your life then on whom you’ll depend. Aakash be on yourself. Don’t you know about your responsibilities! I know you love me and even you also know that am mad about you. But still be on yourself sweetheart so that in future you never had to regret” Aakash heard all but never replied back. He started to think about it. Yes, some where Prasanth was correct. May be Akash was giving more attention to Prasanth more than his job. Aakash decided that he had to follow Prasanth’s word.

Akash was happy for his boy friend who was such a wise and caring. It was the last journey that Akash made with Prasanth after this journey they saw each other only once after 2 months back. But they never knew what is going to happen, what is there in their luck?

Akash and Prasanth both were so hopeful about the positive turn in life… Akash too continued his search about his fiancé’s ring…

‘Akash’ also planned to visit his home and at the end of dec Akash left for his home. He planned to celebrate his Christmas and New Year eve at his home with his parents…

This part we can call as “Planning for the future”

It was November. Things were so good. It was a festive season more over Prasanth’s elder bro was also going to get married. So Prasanth was really happy about it. It was a love marriage first in their family. After a tough round of conversation every one accepted about the marriage.

Prasanth was dreaming about such kind of marriage. But at that stage being some where in south India may be it was not possible. But still he had a dream. They both basically started dreaming about it. They thought may be not the marriage but why not at least the engagement.

It was so charming for Akash too. ‘Akash’ let all his friends know about it. His friends also supported him. Now that was time to select a nice ring for his fiancé.

Prasanth was ahead of every thing. He already got a nice ring and showed to Akash saying that, ”Hy.. see this ring. It’s gonna be yours soon”

Akash,” I’ll be so happy”

Prasanth,”So where’s mine. When u r going to get it?”

Akash,”Yesterday I went for that but none of them was good. Let me search for it. After all it’s for you and I want the best one…”

Things looked like as if they were in dream. All the friends are so supporting and more over Prasanth and Akash were so happy about the marriage at home.

Akash was invited to Prasanth’s bro’s marriage. Prasanth was definitely a good host. He gave all the comfort to Akash. The evening was the reception and next day morning was the marriage. Akash went there in the evening. Prasanth introduced him with all his family members and took a real good care of Akash. Even that night they stayed together where Akash was staying.

Even in the mean time Prasanth also came out to his bor. It was a great deal for Prasanth as his bro was very close to him. Akash supported him completely.

Prasanth’s bro was a doc. He accepted his bro completely but he wanted to be very sure about Prasanth. So he asked Prasanth to talk to a phyciatrist . Prasanth asked why he needed to talk to a phyciatrist? His bro was very clear.

He told, ”Prasanth, I know may be you are thinking that I didn’t accept it. But I have accepted it. And to be very sure about yourself I’m asking you to talk to the phyciatrist. He/She can help you to understand better”

Prasanth agreed with this He told to Akash about the counseling. Akashs usual Akash was beside him. Akash asked whether he need to be there at the counseling time or not. Prasanth was not very sure and told that he would let him know about this plan. Prasanth was sure that Doc will understand him very well. And More over Prasanth was not that weak person he loved Akash with his all heart.

 Lucky Akash.. Isn’t??   With all these hopes Nov ended.

I can call this part as “Understanding Each other..”

Then came the month of Oct. The month of celebration. Unfortunately Akash.. didn’t get leaves to visit his home. So planned to spent the festive season with his boy friend. It was actually a good thought. Prasanth.. was too happy cos Akash.. was going to stay with him for those days.

It was not the first visit for Akash.. to that new city. He was there before too with Prasanth.. but this time the things were different. He was planning to move to this city. They both we unable to stay away from each other.

As it was a festive season. So Prasanth.. also had some  programs at his own office. More over Prasanth.. took Akash to his office and introduced him with all his colleagues as his Boy Friend.  All of his friends were open minded. All of them accepted Prasanth..  &  Akash.. It was a nice time. They were happy too.

Even Akash.. introduced Prasanth.. to his friends as his Boy Friend. Things were going so Fine.

They went to  different places together. They even visited The Book-Fair. At the same time they had to attain some marriage reception. Prasanth.. told  Akash..  earlier. So Akash..  was prepared. but the same day morning they went to that book-fair. So they got  a bit late.

While coming back to home they had to cross Prasanth’s Office. There at Prasanth’s Office all the people told that the marriage hall was quite far away and Prasanth.. should follow them.  Prasanth And Akash was dressed in a very casual manner. So Prasanth knew and  he asked Akash  whether he wants to change or not. Akash told as the place is far away so they should move.

So Both of them started for the marriage. There in the marriage hall Akash.. found that He is looking totally  out of the crowd Because of his very sporty outfit.  But Prasanth.. was  Ok with whatever he was wearing. Akash.. told Prasanth.. that He would not be able to go inside with this Out fit.. Poor Akash.. may be he had some complex  probs. Prasanth.. Understood Akash.. very well. Even Prasanth.. didn’t pressurize him. But Akash.. went inside and sat some where in the corner till Prasanth.. finish his part of duties to wish the new couple. Once he was done He came back to Akash..; Prasanth’s friends were asking him to join the dinner. But as Akash.. was not felling well so Prasanth.. ignored their invitation. Prasanth.. and Akash.. went out and stayed in the car.

Akash was sad  cos for him Prasanth.. was not able to enjoy his colleague’s marriage but again Akash.. was happy that Prasanth.. understood his thought. They were waiting for some one to come and show him the way out this place. one senior colleague of Prasanth.. came  and drover with them. Prasanth requested His colleague to have some thing with them as they had to take dinner. His colleague accepted with that. At the dinner table Prasanth.. told his colleague about Akash..

He told , “You know, me and Akash are trying to move together. He is trying to get a job over here. Once he get a job here we will move together.”

But his colleague completely refused this relation at the dinner table itself… Both of them (Prasanth and Akash) were against of their colleague’s opinion. They tried to forget it.. But some where it hurt..

The depth between their relation grown more.

As I told in the earlier post that there was problem, so it’s time to reveal the problem. One of Akash’s friend never liked Prasanth.. As Prasanth.. Was not such good looking so Akash’s friend didn’t like him. But Akash.. was against of his friend. Akash told, ”For you he may the ugliest but for me he is beautiful cos I have seen his heart. Such a beautiful heart I have never seen.”

Akash..’s friend fought with him and as a result they almost stopped talking to Akash… But Akash.. had no regrets. He was happy with his guy.

Another month also got over. Both were close to each other by this time now. Trying to understand each other. Prasanth.. promised that coming month he would be there at Akash..’s place on Akash..’s birth day.

Akash.. was really happy to get such a boyfriend…

 

A love story sounds very common. But all stories are not same . The story I am going to tell it is king of different. This is not a very same love story , a bit different. Story of Prasant and Akash. A story which got over by seven months.

This story lies in few section. The first section is Flirting section.

Before I go ahead and start the story let me give you a short intro about the characters. Prasant and Akash were staying in two different cities but those two cities were quite adjacent to each other. Even they were also from different states. Prasant belonged to a south Indian family and Akash belonged to a Kashmiri family. Totally different culture. but they came to know each other. Difference attracts, the same way they both got attracted to each other looking at their differences. Prasant was bit older than Akash. Prasant was around 28 and Akash, 23

The similarities were both living out of family. Both were sure about themselves. Both were emotional. Lets start the story now..

September….

Prasant came to know about Akash through some of his friend. They started to talk to each other. Prasant asked Akash to come online so that both can chat for some time. Akash came on line. They started chatting. Different topics, as if like it was a never ending conversation. ( I am going to call Prasant as P.. and Akash as A..) A. liked him. But he was scared about P’s feeling. They started to talk. It was 22nd Sep when the most delightful incident happened. A.. went online and P.. was there also. They Stated to talk about love , relationship.

All of a sudden P.. asked ,”Hey A.. in your orkut I saw that it is written as Open. So are you in some relationship ”

Akash ,”No I’m not. But my friend told to keep it as open.”

Prasanth ,”So when you are going to change it as Committed ”

Akash ,”Yeah. Will change it very soon..”

Prasanth ,”Cool!! That means you are looking someone!!”

Akash ,”No not such…”

Prasanth ,”Then why you’ll change and when??”

Akash ,”Why you are so interested about that??”

Prasanth ,”No just like that”

Akash ,”Well will change the relationship status once you say”

Prasanth…,”Then go ahead and change”

Akash ,”Are you sure what are you talking about! I mean changing some thing on net is not a big deal but the thing you are telling now is completely different”

Prasanth.. ,”After being completely sure only I’m asking you to change”

Akash., “Cool!! I’ll change it”

This was Prasanth.., proposed to Akash.. and Akash.. also accepted. Akash.. was happy cos he liked Prasanth.. from the Day one but he never told him any thing about his feelings. When Prasanth.. told him to change the status Akash.. just thought it’s God’s grace because he got Prasanth..

But there’s some thing in between. Some Of Akash’s friends didn’t like Prasanth.. Yes, Prasanth.. was not so much good looking But Akash.. felt Prasanth’s heart and even Prasanth.. liked Akash.. a lot. So their chemistry worked a lot. I’ll tell you the problematic part in the next session.

Till the end of Sep they came very close to each other. Every time sticking to the phone. They were happy. Happy to be with each other.

Akash.. invited Prasanth.. to visit his city so that Akash.. can also See Prasanth.. ; Prasanth.. promised that he would come to visit Akash..’s city. But unfortunately Prasanth.. was unable to visit Akash..’s Place so he invited Akash.. back to his own city. As I said Akash.. was waiting to see Prasanth.. So Akash.. agreed to go to Prasanth..’s place which was in the other city. Both of them had a nice time in the other city.

The month of September ended giving them more hopes in heart. Both of them started to dream about staying together…….. let’s C what October was going to give them in the name of fate!!!

 

 

 

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