Aditya chatterjee's Weblog

Posts Tagged ‘Boy friend

Love….

Whenever I have asked someone to describe what love is, everybody gave very beautiful descriptions! They said , “love is pure”, “ love is divine”!

I showed them this painting of mine and asked what did they see?  They said a boy and a girl in love! I replied them they are lovers.

I have not labeled them.  It really doesn’t matter if they are male, female or transgender. They are in love and they look very peaceful. I am not boosting just because it is my painting. Can you tell me, “will the definition of love be different if it is between two guys or two girls!”

The way you love  your partner they also love the same way! Then why is this discrimination! You fight for your love, You run away with your partner if your family doesn’t support! So, you know the values of love. Then why do you hate! Where they would ran away if you don’t support love! You are everywhere and you have to stand by them for their love!!

Painting 1

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Can we really forget our first love?? I don’t know people might say that yes, it would be better option. I some times also believed the same. But how I can forget the first love…

We broke up back in 2008, April. I last saw him back in Feb, 2008. After that till today I haven’t seen him don’t know whether I can see him ever or not. Our love story started over phone and also got over phone. Isn’t a very sweet thing? He completely took himself out of my life. No phone call, no mail nothing for almost a very long time. It the same year, 2008. His birthday was on Sep, 18th. I called him to wish him in spite of every thing. He was asleep, didn’t recognize my voice. But I wished him holding my tears back. We never came back to the same form of talking. Some times just calls that also only when needed. ‘Hi’, ‘Hello’ and then the subject, nothing more than that. When we broke up he promised me that he will never see me if I ever try to talk about relationship. So I never talked about our past. It was unspoken. I was trying to move on. Didn’t know whether one year was enough or not.

Back in March, 2009 I met Prakash.  I liked him as well. I fell in love with him. We became committed to each other in a relationship. A new love story started in my life. A fresh beginning.

Every thing was fine but one day some time in 2010 I talked to Prasanth. Didn’t know what happen to me I got emotional. I told him that though I was not allowed to say him that I loved him. But I told him that I still respected him by the same way and I would still count myself as his well wisher. I told him till this date whenever I think about first love he comes in my mind. I didn’t know whether he was shocked or surprised. He told, “Yes, Even when ever I think about love you come in my mind. I told everyone about you. I know there is no point saying sorry for what ever I did to you.”  I was speechless. I was waiting for those words from him for a long time and today he is saying. I told him that it was too late for that sorry.

I told him it was too late but inside I was happy because he missed me. He realized that I loved him, loved a lot. Whenever Prakash and me talked about my previous love life he used to ask me, “Would you accept him if he comes back”. I always used to reply ‘NO’ with a great ease but why I am feeling for it? Why? What is past, what no more exists or should not exist? Why? Why I am thinking?

At last I Closed my eyes to realize things around me….

I saw myself back in 2008. I was searching for new job with my broken heart. Nothing was going fine. Every thing was just messed up. I also behaved like walking and talking Zombie. Prasanth Stopped talking to me. He even shut me out of his life. Never received my call. I went to CMC .Thought of moving on but still was unable. All the songs that I used to listen brought back my tears…2008 passed…started 209 and it started with new hope..2009 March. Got new life… 2010…things are fine. Then all of sudden saw Prasanth as if he is asking me to come back in his life.

I saw Prakash too. When I needed some one Prakash came and stood by me. He gave me his love. Made me close to his family. Whatever Prasanth was unable to give me everything Prakash gave. I might sound selfish but I am not comparing them. Now I can’t leave him. I can’t let the same thing happened with Prakash what I faced. I can’t become Prasanth. I am who I am with all my emotions alive.

I opened my eyes. Realized that the phone is ringing. Took the phone in my hand. Saw Prakash and my self. My realization came into life. I never thought that moving on would be that tough but at least now am sure that I am ready to move on and rather I have already moved on. It was just a rush of my emotions. That was my past and I am going to make peace with my past.

I love you…. Will love you forever……

Aditya, what you think, haven’t I done the justice with my past. I know you would understand. Thanks for listening…

Your Friend.

18th December, 2007

Kolkata

Today we might be far away from each other but still my heart beats for you. It’s you and only you who ever let me think about myself. Whenever I saw you I thought what I should do so that you can think of me. I know the time has gone. Now you belong to someone else but my heart doesn’t want to accept the truth. Today is the day when everyone is celebrating but I am in tears. I am not able to celebrate it.

Do you remember all those days I spent with you? May be not as a perfect lover but I tried to be there as your friend.

Do you remember all those afternoons we spent together while talking? Those were very special moments for me. I tried to get your complete attention. It was only you and me. Walking alone on the way. The scorching sun or flooding rain was just a reason to come under the single umbrella. Those days I left my umbrella at home. I believed that you would be there to bring the umbrella.

Do you remember all those college festivals? Those were wonderful moments. You were the most gorgeous girl. You looked at me avoiding hundred eyes those were waiting for your one single signal. I felt so lucky and thankful to GOD. I was almost at cloud nine when you came and hold my hand in front of every one.

Do you remember all those puja celebrations? The city of Joy looked more joyful when you were with me. We went to different places sometimes alone sometimes with other friends but all along enjoyed your company, all those giggling.  I never realized what all mighty wanted but everything got clear after you came to my life.

I never knew how much I loved you but I knew that it would be tough without you. Today after the college life when you have decided to live your life with someone else I got nothing to live with. I feel like I lost my life. Life is funny. Isn’t it? Now I have good job and prospect for my life but I lost the hope of my life. Tell me what should I do?? Should I go and attain your marriage or should I just forget the fact? I know I was your best friend in college days and we also had a very good chemistry but right now how I can be your friend? I loved you and I told you also. I wanted to live the same day in my life having you beside me.

I can’t cry because that will bring bad luck in your new life. I can’t celebrate the day because that will lead me to suffocation of death. I thought of killing myself but I am not so brave to leave my parents. But I am going. I am going far away from you. When you’ll get the letter I’ll be thousand miles away from you. I have decided to delete all my email address. Let me live a life where I have your memories. I love you, love you like a mad dog. Leaving you to your beloved husband who never can take my place. But still wishing you for your new life. Hope we will meet some where…………….

Just one request… Don’t forget me………..

Your Friend…..

Sudhir                   “

It was the next day morning of her marriage when the letter came to Sujata’s hand. The new morning in her new life but today somehow she’s not happy. She can’t hold her tears and can’t cry too. Her friend gave the letter to her and also gave the news that Sudhir is no more. Last night while going to the airport he met with an accident and died at the hospital. Sujata doesn’t know whether it is an accident or suicide. Sudhir was way beyond her understanding all along and he’ll be..

Life has given her a lot of experiences and today she is lost

Let me call this part as,” The Distance”

Have you ever heard anyone saying that,” Distance relationship never works!!!” I heard that well, guess what at this part Akash and Prasanth felt the distance but that doesn’t mean that they left the relation there for the distance. Rather they tried to over come the distance. Yes, At this point of time I can feel that both of them really tried to over ocome the distance. May be they did it…

As I told you that this month of Dec was there only for distance. Akash was in his city busy with his work but again missing Prasanth in his heart and Prasanth. Prasanth was also too busy at his work. Both were trying to change the job. Prasanth was searching the job in his Own City where as Akash was searching the job in Prasanth’s city.

It was almost a few weeks that both had seen each other. But as I told you Prasanth was also quite strong about his word. He told Akash,” As long as I am not getting any job I’ll try not to meet you. I know it’ll be tough for me. And I even know that I will go to your city to see you. So at least for seeing you I have to get a job as soon as possible”.

Akash was partly happy about his boyfriend and party scared about the distance. As I told you He was also trying for job in Prasanth’s city. So Akash also tried to get some interview. But unfortunately he was not getting any interview and Prasanth was not getting a proper chance to change his job.

Both were missing each other. But they tried to over come the distance. Both of them had a teddy bear. Those two were also a pair and they named it according to their loves name. Akash used to call his bear as “Prasanth”. More over they thanked GOD for all those.”G talk”, mobile system and all those stuffs… They tried to make their mind.

But at last Akash was unable to hold his emotion. He insisted to visit Prasanth’s place at the end of the dec. As ‘Akash’ insisted so Prasanth didn’t say anything him about it. After almost a whole month Akash and Prasanth were together. It was a great pleasure for both of them.

Akash was there for a week end and at the end of the week end Prasanth was also suppose to visit his home town which was near by Akash’s city. So Prasanth and Akash started together. Though it was not the first time but it was nice journey. Prasanth told some very practical stuff to ‘Akash’. A very rude practical stuff…

,”Hy. How serious you are about your job? See I know that may be you are serious about your job but that seriousness is not enough. What will happen if in future this Prasanth is not there in your life then on whom you’ll depend. Aakash be on yourself. Don’t you know about your responsibilities! I know you love me and even you also know that am mad about you. But still be on yourself sweetheart so that in future you never had to regret” Aakash heard all but never replied back. He started to think about it. Yes, some where Prasanth was correct. May be Akash was giving more attention to Prasanth more than his job. Aakash decided that he had to follow Prasanth’s word.

Akash was happy for his boy friend who was such a wise and caring. It was the last journey that Akash made with Prasanth after this journey they saw each other only once after 2 months back. But they never knew what is going to happen, what is there in their luck?

Akash and Prasanth both were so hopeful about the positive turn in life… Akash too continued his search about his fiancé’s ring…

‘Akash’ also planned to visit his home and at the end of dec Akash left for his home. He planned to celebrate his Christmas and New Year eve at his home with his parents…

This part we can call as “Planning for the future”

It was November. Things were so good. It was a festive season more over Prasanth’s elder bro was also going to get married. So Prasanth was really happy about it. It was a love marriage first in their family. After a tough round of conversation every one accepted about the marriage.

Prasanth was dreaming about such kind of marriage. But at that stage being some where in south India may be it was not possible. But still he had a dream. They both basically started dreaming about it. They thought may be not the marriage but why not at least the engagement.

It was so charming for Akash too. ‘Akash’ let all his friends know about it. His friends also supported him. Now that was time to select a nice ring for his fiancé.

Prasanth was ahead of every thing. He already got a nice ring and showed to Akash saying that, ”Hy.. see this ring. It’s gonna be yours soon”

Akash,” I’ll be so happy”

Prasanth,”So where’s mine. When u r going to get it?”

Akash,”Yesterday I went for that but none of them was good. Let me search for it. After all it’s for you and I want the best one…”

Things looked like as if they were in dream. All the friends are so supporting and more over Prasanth and Akash were so happy about the marriage at home.

Akash was invited to Prasanth’s bro’s marriage. Prasanth was definitely a good host. He gave all the comfort to Akash. The evening was the reception and next day morning was the marriage. Akash went there in the evening. Prasanth introduced him with all his family members and took a real good care of Akash. Even that night they stayed together where Akash was staying.

Even in the mean time Prasanth also came out to his bor. It was a great deal for Prasanth as his bro was very close to him. Akash supported him completely.

Prasanth’s bro was a doc. He accepted his bro completely but he wanted to be very sure about Prasanth. So he asked Prasanth to talk to a phyciatrist . Prasanth asked why he needed to talk to a phyciatrist? His bro was very clear.

He told, ”Prasanth, I know may be you are thinking that I didn’t accept it. But I have accepted it. And to be very sure about yourself I’m asking you to talk to the phyciatrist. He/She can help you to understand better”

Prasanth agreed with this He told to Akash about the counseling. Akashs usual Akash was beside him. Akash asked whether he need to be there at the counseling time or not. Prasanth was not very sure and told that he would let him know about this plan. Prasanth was sure that Doc will understand him very well. And More over Prasanth was not that weak person he loved Akash with his all heart.

 Lucky Akash.. Isn’t??   With all these hopes Nov ended.

I can call this part as “Understanding Each other..”

Then came the month of Oct. The month of celebration. Unfortunately Akash.. didn’t get leaves to visit his home. So planned to spent the festive season with his boy friend. It was actually a good thought. Prasanth.. was too happy cos Akash.. was going to stay with him for those days.

It was not the first visit for Akash.. to that new city. He was there before too with Prasanth.. but this time the things were different. He was planning to move to this city. They both we unable to stay away from each other.

As it was a festive season. So Prasanth.. also had some  programs at his own office. More over Prasanth.. took Akash to his office and introduced him with all his colleagues as his Boy Friend.  All of his friends were open minded. All of them accepted Prasanth..  &  Akash.. It was a nice time. They were happy too.

Even Akash.. introduced Prasanth.. to his friends as his Boy Friend. Things were going so Fine.

They went to  different places together. They even visited The Book-Fair. At the same time they had to attain some marriage reception. Prasanth.. told  Akash..  earlier. So Akash..  was prepared. but the same day morning they went to that book-fair. So they got  a bit late.

While coming back to home they had to cross Prasanth’s Office. There at Prasanth’s Office all the people told that the marriage hall was quite far away and Prasanth.. should follow them.  Prasanth And Akash was dressed in a very casual manner. So Prasanth knew and  he asked Akash  whether he wants to change or not. Akash told as the place is far away so they should move.

So Both of them started for the marriage. There in the marriage hall Akash.. found that He is looking totally  out of the crowd Because of his very sporty outfit.  But Prasanth.. was  Ok with whatever he was wearing. Akash.. told Prasanth.. that He would not be able to go inside with this Out fit.. Poor Akash.. may be he had some complex  probs. Prasanth.. Understood Akash.. very well. Even Prasanth.. didn’t pressurize him. But Akash.. went inside and sat some where in the corner till Prasanth.. finish his part of duties to wish the new couple. Once he was done He came back to Akash..; Prasanth’s friends were asking him to join the dinner. But as Akash.. was not felling well so Prasanth.. ignored their invitation. Prasanth.. and Akash.. went out and stayed in the car.

Akash was sad  cos for him Prasanth.. was not able to enjoy his colleague’s marriage but again Akash.. was happy that Prasanth.. understood his thought. They were waiting for some one to come and show him the way out this place. one senior colleague of Prasanth.. came  and drover with them. Prasanth requested His colleague to have some thing with them as they had to take dinner. His colleague accepted with that. At the dinner table Prasanth.. told his colleague about Akash..

He told , “You know, me and Akash are trying to move together. He is trying to get a job over here. Once he get a job here we will move together.”

But his colleague completely refused this relation at the dinner table itself… Both of them (Prasanth and Akash) were against of their colleague’s opinion. They tried to forget it.. But some where it hurt..

The depth between their relation grown more.

As I told in the earlier post that there was problem, so it’s time to reveal the problem. One of Akash’s friend never liked Prasanth.. As Prasanth.. Was not such good looking so Akash’s friend didn’t like him. But Akash.. was against of his friend. Akash told, ”For you he may the ugliest but for me he is beautiful cos I have seen his heart. Such a beautiful heart I have never seen.”

Akash..’s friend fought with him and as a result they almost stopped talking to Akash… But Akash.. had no regrets. He was happy with his guy.

Another month also got over. Both were close to each other by this time now. Trying to understand each other. Prasanth.. promised that coming month he would be there at Akash..’s place on Akash..’s birth day.

Akash.. was really happy to get such a boyfriend…